Author Archives: S.J.Wheeler

What to Do When Bio Dad Talks Down Stepdad to the Kids

What to Do When Bio Dad Talks Down Stepdad to the Kids

Hi, I’m a soon to be official stepdad, but I’ve been living with my kids for 3 years now. In our case the ex was abusive to my fiancé and has in three years through the courts been able to achieve visitation bi weekly with double overnights and two full weeks in the summer plus some short weekly visits and […]

Is He Still My Stepfather?

Is He Still My Stepfather?

My mother and stepfather are divorced. He has remarried and has another family now. Is he still classified as my stepfather? Karen   Karen, Thanks for reaching out. In most countries Stepfather and Stepdad aren’t legal titles. It’s more of an identifier for convenience. It’s a fast way to describe a relationship between two people. This is especially helpful for […]

How Long Until New Stepdad Settles In?

How Long Until New Stepdad Settles In?

I’ve been reading your site and there’s some great information, but I’m struggling. He’s been living with us for a year now, and it’s still imperfect. He still feels like this isn’t his family.  My kids are 7 and 9 and they adore him, but often it seems like the only thing we routinely do together is eat dinner. I kind of […]

Should I Keep My promise to the Bio-Dad?

Should I Keep My promise to the Bio-Dad?

When I first got with my wife her ex was worried that I was going to steal his son away from him. Being the man that I am, and having two brothers that had both step-dads and step-moms (both my father and their mother remarried) I know what it’s like for kids to know their real parents. So I made […]

Unique Stepdad Situation

Unique Stepdad Situation

I married my wife–who is the non-custodial parent of her two boys, now 9 and 12–3 years ago. Although my wife does not have any legal custody of the kids, their father is reasonable and sends the kids our way during the Summer and alternating holidays. So, not only have I gone from single to married, I had to learn […]

Parenting – Dad and Teen Relationship Guidelines

Parenting – Dad and Teen Relationship Guidelines

Adeline Cid – Contributing Writer It is not easy to build a relationship with a teen. Teens are subject to ever-changing emotions and the things that worked yesterday or a year ago may or may not work today. At the same time, adolescents need a strong relationship with their parents more than ever. Following are some dad-teen relationship guidelines that […]

Help! My Wife’s Still Interested in Her Ex

Help! My Wife’s Still Interested in Her Ex

Stepdad, Hello I have been married to my wife about a year now. She is pregnant with our first child. She already has a child from a previous relationship of five years. The father of the child does nothing to help. She always lies to me about the father. She first told me her never helped her at all. Then […]

Question from concerned the Bio-Dad

Question from concerned the Bio-Dad

I would like to hear how Step Dads protect the child’s relationship with his REAL Father? What kinda things do you guys/”stepdads” do to “de- dramatize” any interference to the Father Child relationship? What I am interested to learn from your group, is what “next spouses” do to insure the last spouse is able to maintaintheir parental relationship? Cause God knows, divorce […]

What’s My Role: “Dad” or “Stepdad”?

What’s My Role: “Dad” or “Stepdad”?

I married my wife four years ago when her son was only six. He is an awesome kid and we get along quite well. He is an excellent student, very courteous and well behaved. The problem lies in my role with him. My wife feels that I should be his primary father figure since his bio dad only sees him […]

My daughter’s Stepdad  gets to walk her down the Aisle – What can I do?

My daughter’s Stepdad gets to walk her down the Aisle – What can I do?

I divorced my kid’s mom when she was 8 and now she’s in her late 20’s. Her mom got together with her new husband when my daughter was around 16. The truth is I didnt pay enough child support and me and her aren’t close. I wasn’t really there and I hardly ever chipped in like her mother and stepdad […]

Stepdad Gets Ultimate Honor

Stepdad Gets Ultimate Honor

OREGON  10/22/2012- Oregon State Linebacker, DJ Welch paid the ultimate honor to his Stepdad when he decided to change his last name to Alexander. His Stepdad Eugene had raised him since he was just a year old. The standout football player says his  Stepdad was instrumental him helping him become the man and player he is today. Check out the […]

Overcoming Holiday Season Anxiety

Overcoming Holiday Season Anxiety

The high piles of autumn leaves and the nip in the morning air casually remind us that the holidays are sneaking in. For me, winter’s return usually feels a little sad because the warm weather has gone away. The leafless skeletal trees stand starkly against the fading winter sky. It’s a cold, sinking emotion that reminds me of the feeling […]

Alcohol: A Stress Reliever For Parents?

Alcohol: A Stress Reliever For Parents?

WASHINGTON, DN (CBSDC): From the “Too interesting not to share” file– can drinking improve your parenting? One study out of the United Kingdom suggest that many parents think drinking can help them cope better. Also of interest, 17% of those polled also said they increased their consumption after becoming parents. There may be some benefit parents can find in the occasional drink, however the […]

California Vetoes Pro-Step Parent Bill

California Vetoes Pro-Step Parent Bill

Sacramento, CA 09/30/2012- Governor Jerry Brown ended a bill designed to give non-biological parents greater rights, this week. The move surprised many, who see Brown as a liberal in his political views. The bill-SB 15476- was sponsored by State Senator Mark Leno and intended to address the issues created by surrogate births, same-sex parenthood, assisted reproduction and blended families. Brown left open the […]

Daughter Found with Teacher in France, Stepdad Overjoyed

Daughter Found with Teacher in France, Stepdad Overjoyed

SUSSEX, UK: 09/28/2012– The Stepadad of missing 15 year old Megan Stammers told reporters that it’s been an emotional roller- coaster for his family, as they’ve waited for information about the safety of his step-daughter, Megan. The teen failed to show up at school a week earlier and all signs pointed to the likelihood that she had run away with her teacher. Christian Fraser, who […]

How can my daughter’s stepdad participate in her wedding?

How can my daughter’s stepdad participate in her wedding?

Our 23 y/o daughter is getting married next year and we are contributing a significant amount of money to the ceremony. Her bio-dad is contributing nothing. He moved across the country 1 month before she graduated high school and has never paid a dime of child support or even attempted to support the children financially. Now, after years of alcoholism, […]

Oppositional Children

Oppositional Children

The article below was shared as a guest post by Dr. Asa Don Brown Ph.D., C.C.C. Dr Brown is an Author, Professor at Thompson Rivers University, a Clinician and Speaker. He is a member of the Canadian Counselling and Psychotherapy Association, National Center of Crisis Management – American Academy of Experts in Traumatic Stress. Dr. Brown writes a regular column for the Canadian […]

Blended Family Issues: Step-Mom Struggles with Bio-Mom

Blended Family Issues: Step-Mom Struggles with Bio-Mom

I have a peculiar situation in that the bio-mom in our family is a compulsive liar who has only just recently been institutionalized. I have been in my stepkid’s lives for four and a half years and have watched them become disappointed time and time again by their BM. I have never spoken ill of her to them. I have […]

Spiteful stepmom writes lies on Facebook- What can I do?

Spiteful stepmom writes lies on Facebook- What can I do?

My wife and I have a 4 year old boy and a 6 month old girl. Our boy’s biological father is a good father and pays his child support on time. However, he does not show my wife any respect and allows his girlfriend and entire family to ridicule and attack my wife daily. While dealing with these very immature […]

Pro-gay law may help Stepdads

Pro-gay law may help Stepdads

SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA- A push to help give equal footing to parents in gay relationships is likely to give an unintended benefit to Step parents. The pending bill was first imagined by California State Senator Mark Leno (D-San Francisco) as a way to grant rights to couples where only is a biological parent. When gay couple with kids split up there is always the potential […]

Fast-thinking step-sons save Stepdad’s life

Fast-thinking step-sons save Stepdad’s life

NEW ZEALAND- If you need one more reason to bond with your step kids-here’s a good one: Someday they might save your life. A New Zealand family is one step further from tragedy this week after three step-sons performed CPR on their Stepdad. Maybe it was the bonding time the dad put in. Maybe it was their true affection for the man-or […]

Bruce Jenner gets special Father’s Day wishes from step-daughters

Bruce Jenner gets special Father’s Day wishes from step-daughters

CALIFORNIA- The Mighty Bruce has a good thing going. In May he received Esquire Magazine’s Father of The Year award.  You rarely ever see a Stepdad given such a public honor that so it’s easy to appreciate that kind of moment. Jenner can now count a few additional great Stepdad moments to his Esquire award. Like icing on a cupcake, […]

I Want to Grow Up to be a Deadbeat Dad

I Want to Grow Up to be a Deadbeat Dad

“I can’t decide who should walk me down the aisle: my biological father or my step-father. I am closer to my Stepdad, but feel bad about not asking my real dad.” This is an actual question from an advice column-and a question more daughters struggle with than we realize. Being a step-kid can be tough; not knowing who to show […]

The Stepdad and the Dung Beetle

The Stepdad and the Dung Beetle

Father’s Day is upon us! Did you know that the idea of Father’s Day was first conceived around 1910? It was sporadically celebrated throughout the United State for many years but wasn’t official for quite some time. It took more than half a century before it was officially made into a national holiday in the US, when President Richard Nixon […]

My wife wants me to discipline the kids

My wife wants me to discipline the kids

I married for the first time last year. I’m in my mid 30s and married a single mom with 4 kids. There are 3 boys from 10 to 17 and a girl who is 13. They’re all very unruly but are good kids. They’re pretty out of control at home. My wife wants me to take over discipline. I’ve never […]

So I married a single mom…what’s the big deal?

So I married a single mom…what’s the big deal?

Each year a larger portion of the marrying population includes 2nd or 3rd marriages, where children are part of the household. For this reason, the number of Stepdads also continues to increase. The divorce rate for blended families also remains dismally high. If you are a stepdad, you have a higher chance of failure than success- because greater than half […]

New Stepdads: Consider adding Au Pair to the family

New Stepdads: Consider adding Au Pair to the family

The Stepdad knows a good thing when he sees it. Recently I had a great conversation with an Au Pair coordinator about the surprising benefits that many newly blended families find when they hire an Au Pair. The early bonding stages of a blended family are important. Setting the right tone early and working through initial struggles can make a big impact […]

New Stepdads: Don’t try so hard, study says

New Stepdads: Don’t try so hard, study says

AUCKLAND, NEW ZEALAND-  A study out of Auckland University found that children usually don’t want a new Stepdad to jump into the role of  “dad”… at least not right away. Kids are more comfortable with them being more of  a friend than a parent, and leaving the discipline to the mom. Many men start off on the wrong foot and end […]

Stepdad Or Stepped on Dad

Stepdad Or Stepped on Dad

By Judy H. Wright –   Stepdad, hmmm, does that mean that you are available to be stepped on or walked over?  No, you are not a stepped on dad.  You are an important part of your children’s and step children’s lives, even if they don’t always respect you or your position as the dad in this house. You will never be […]

Key tips for family bonding

Key tips for family bonding

FROM 05.COM: Studies continue to tell us what should be obvious: Families who spend time together and create bonds are more successful.  These same studies tell us that creating bonds isn’t as hard as some people might think. It’s really about making time for the family and following through. For Stepdads, bonding is vital to success. Continuity and a team […]

A letter from an engaged mom

A letter from an engaged mom

I know this site is for Stepdads, so I hope it’s ok if I ask a question. I’m a single mom of 2 girls, ages 7 1/2 and 6. To make a long story short I have reconnected with my high school sweetheart from 20 years ago. We have plans to move in together and get married. He does not […]

Want to be famous? Audition for a blended family reality show!

Want to be famous? Audition for a blended family reality show!

Stepdadding.com has been asked to help find a blended family for a new reality show. A television production company is now casting for a TV series that aims to highlight a dynamic, unique, entertaining, outgoing blended family, in which the spouses have children from previous relationships and unique cultures. You can live in any state and still be considered. For […]

Stepdad is a life-long commitment

Stepdad is a life-long commitment

HUFFINGTON POST- Fighting For Custody of My Stepfather–  When a child’s parents split up, it’s tough on her. When an adult’s parents split up it, it can be confusing. When an adult’s Stepdad and mom split up it can make her wonder if she just lost her dad. This is a great article was written by a woman who was […]

Another great ‘Stepdad returns from war’ story

Another great ‘Stepdad returns from war’ story

THE JAMESTOWN SUN, JAMESTOWN ND- It’s a powerful moment when a soldier returns to his family–even more powerful when he returns to a young child who has an incredible bond with his Stepdad. The military has one of the highest divorce and remarriage rates of all careers. Because of this there are a lot of Stepdads found in uniform. With the turmoil […]

Better understanding why your kids don’t like their stepmom

Better understanding why your kids don’t like their stepmom

Posted by on April 04, 2012 in Resource |

PSYCHOLOGY TODAY- Dad’s, if you’re having trouble getting your biological kids to bond with your new wife, the problem may be much more than just personalities. Many times Stepmoms have an uphill struggle with their husband’s kids because of dynamics they can’t control. This excellent article is food for thought for any dad who wants to understand what his new wife is […]

Another Hollywood Stepdad

Another Hollywood Stepdad

HOLLYWOOD CA, When super Agent Jim Toth married Reese Witherspoon he got a package deal. Like so many ‘Dads before him he stepped onto the moving roller coaster of a family already in progress. Witherspoon has two kids from ex-husband and actor Ryan Philippe. Toth will have his hands full with his new twee-aged step daughter and pre-tween step son.  Stepdadding.com […]

Canberra Raiders’ standout rookie credits Stepdad with introducing him to the game

Canberra Raiders’ standout rookie credits Stepdad with introducing him to the game

SYDNEY MORNING HERALD- Rookie Jack Wighton, the Raider’s 19 year old Centre says when he was just a boy he was a bit skiddish about the ruff and tumble ways of Australian football  (soccer to you yanks) but his Stepdad saw something in him and encouraged him to play. He’s since done amazing things and been compared to some of the greats of […]

How far will you go to bond with your step kid?

How far will you go to bond with your step kid?

ONEITA, NEW YORK- Stepdads know that bonding moments are valuable times. These are the occasions when we get to share a priceless memory or event that helps us create a closer bond with our step kids. Stepdadding.com’s staff have seen many great ideas for bonding and have heard some interesting stories about shared moments -but this one makes the list […]

A law that will help Stepdads?

A law that will help Stepdads?

I came a across a post about a law pending in Missouri that was being decried as anti-conservative because it allegedly disregards the importance of family. Lisa Payne-Naeger wrote on examiner.com, “Representative Thomas Long of, District 134 near Springfield, is sponsoring a bill to allow any person having a parent/child relationship with a minor child who is not the biological or legal parent to […]

Walking the wire of Stepdadding

Walking the wire of Stepdadding

Being a step dad can feel like a series of endless analogies; almost immediately after taking on your new role you find you feel like a small fish in a big pond. You enter a family already in progress and struggle to find your footing and voice. You’re not deterred by such things so you step up to the plate […]

Stepdad fires son for being a litterbug

Stepdad fires son for being a litterbug

Loughborough, Leicestershire, UK-  Sometimes Stepdads have it tough. We can only imagine how tough this one had it when he got home to  his wife after firing his son.  Hopefully she understood that sometimes us ‘dads have to do what’s in the best interest of our kids, even if it seems harsh.

Stepdad feels like he’s second-best to kid’s bio-dad

Stepdad feels like he’s second-best to kid’s bio-dad

This really stings. I’ve been raising my son since I married his mom 10 years ago. He was six when we got married and about 4 when we started going out. He’s my boy. You can’t tell me any different.  But his father is also in his life and sees him sometimes. This is a guy who doesn’t pay child […]

Life insurance company creates policy with blended families in mind

Life insurance company creates policy with blended families in mind

WEST DES MOINES, Iowa- (BUSINESS WIRE) — Many Stepdads struggle with how to provide survivor-ship benefits for their extended families. If you have non-blood-related children or an ex spouse who you have children with, this might be worth looking at.  It’s nice to see that the market is usually driven by reality. With historically high numbers of blended families in the US and Canada, this type […]

Ashton Kutcher shows that Stepdad’s don’t stop caring

Ashton Kutcher shows that Stepdad’s don’t stop caring

Hollywood, CA- Two and a Half Men star and famous former Stepdad Ashton Kutcher surprised some in Hollywood by showing up at the vocal debut of his former step daughter Rumer Willis–and cheering like a proud dad. Hollywood regularly perpetuates the stereotype of the evil Stepdad but at least one Hollywood A-lister is pushing back on that perception -and he’s […]

The Utah Jazz’s Josh Howard tips his hat to Stepdad

The Utah Jazz’s Josh Howard tips his hat to Stepdad

Salt Lake City, UT- Young sensation, Josh Howard is pulling his weight withe the Utah Jazz, scoring double digits on a regular basis–but he’s not pulling any punches when he talks about how his Stepdad has been a positive influence since he was just 11.

National guardsman makes his stepson cry–in a good way

National guardsman makes his stepson cry–in a good way

Columbia Missouri- Twelve year old Jostin Prior didn’t know his stepdad Sgt. Rodney Blackwell would be returning from a Middle East deployment this week, so he was caught off guard when his dad walked into his classroom to surprise him. Now us dads know that boys don’t like to cry–but when you miss your dad–tears are just fine. After half a year apart his […]

When the kids begin to leave home

When the kids begin to leave home

For the past few years I’ve been meticulously scheming and planning for what I’ll do when the kids finally move away. It will be nice someday to dance in the kitchen in my PJs and sing off-key without being reminded that I’m old and silly. It sounds almost a thing of fantasy that I might once again be able to […]

Son pays respects to his fallen Stepdad

Son pays respects to his fallen Stepdad

Wootton Bassett, UK- Two young kids- three and twelve- said farewell to their dad, Lance Corporal Richard Brandon, 24. Though only a part of his life a short time,  his boy obviously won’t forget him.  The boy paused to give a deliberate and heart-felt salute the coffin of his fallen dad.

English Stepdads face the same challenges as those everywhere

English Stepdads face the same challenges as those everywhere

The SUN, UK- Stepdads everywhere accept the same challenges. This interesting and eye opening letter written to an advice column in the UK demonstrates that teen’s are tough, no matter what the accent.

Five Simple rules for step parents?

Five Simple rules for step parents?

Sheknows.com- Alright dads, this article is actually from a women’s site. I wasn’t certain it was a women’s site because of the name but because it’s got a lot of pink! (Why do they always do that?) . All that asside, this article underlines many of the basic truths you tend to see over and over in every list with […]

Blended family: Do you have an agreement about who pays for step children’s expenses?

Blended family: Do you have an agreement about who pays for step children’s expenses?

HuffingtonPost.com- As blended families become the most common type of family in the US and Canada there seems to be no standard etiquette regarding money matters. Are Stepdads expected to pay for their step kid’s expenses? The rules arrangements vary by household. Having a plan can save families a lot of undue stress. Here’s some good advice and food for though.

Australian court case of Stepdad upholds “smacking” as acceptable punishment.

Australian court case of Stepdad upholds “smacking” as acceptable punishment.

New South Wales, Australia- A Stepdad found himself on the wrong side of the law after he refused to tolerate bad behavior from his step son. A light smack to the head and grabbing his shoulder when the son tried to walk away was enough to get him in trouble. What happened next..?

Bad times / Good times: Stepdad and son serve together in Afghanistan.

Bad times / Good times: Stepdad and son serve together in Afghanistan.

FORT CAMPBELL, KY. — One Stepdad has found a unique way to bond with his step son; by serving together in a war zone.  Bonding surely wasn’t a focus for Chief Warrant Officer Shawn Eppard, a Blackhawk helicopter pilot and Stepdad. His wife Hilda Eppard says of CWO Eppard and her son Pfc. Christopher West, “They are like best friends.” Many Stepdads, who […]

Bad Stepdad days? Some blended families are on thin ice from the start.

Bad Stepdad days? Some blended families are on thin ice from the start.

Many men jump right in, thinking it’s  going to be just like having kids of their own. The reality is a bit different. There are more Stepdads today than ever before in history, but society still holds onto pre-conceived notions about stepfathers. This may be because the news rarely does a story about the good ones. Your new kids are […]

Another Stepdad steps in harm’s way to save daughter

Another Stepdad steps in harm’s way to save daughter

Winthrop, MA- A heroic Stepdad suffered burns and risked his life to save his daughter this week. The fiery inferno was in a scene fit for Hollywood. After the fire and a partial collapse of the floor of her room, Shari Begnor woke with her bed nearly in the basement. She gives all the credit to her Stepdad for saving her life.

Step son thanks paramedics for saving his dad’s life

Step son thanks paramedics for saving his dad’s life

MONESSEN, PA (Story and video) There are times when a Stepdad knows he has done a good job as a father. The love shown by one son surely says more than any words could to his Stepdad.

Seven Steps to Being a Better Stepdad

Seven Steps to Being a Better Stepdad

Being a Stepdad is never as easy as 1-2-3, and certainly can’t be sorted out with seven simple rules. But if you have a few spare minutes, check out this well-written article with seven steps which you’re sure to find useful. They won’t fix everything, but I think you’ll agree they are helpful in your effort to become a stronger […]

Dating a single mom? Some advice: Take it slow…

Dating a single mom? Some advice: Take it slow…

The rules of dating can sometimes feel undefined.  Personalities and emotional expectations play a large role in  any confusion that occurs. When it comes to dating single moms, men have a whole different set of considerations to deal with -and it’s not all about her: Don’t forget to consider the kid(s). Whether you plan to marry her or not, be sure to know her expectations. Full […]

Are there simple rules for Stepdads and blended families? Anderson Cooper thinks so.

Are there simple rules for Stepdads and blended families? Anderson Cooper thinks so.

Many of us Stepdads wish there were simple rules we could follow to smooth out the rough patches of step-parenting. Stepdadding.com is always on the lookout for good advice for new and struggling dads. Anderson Cooper offers up some Dos and Dont’s for blended families. These nine simple rules will go a long way to help promote a more peaceful and stable […]

A New York Stepdad dies for step daughter

A New York Stepdad dies for step daughter

The Bronx, NY – A 65 year old New York Stepdad died this week after entering a burning home to find his 22 year old step daughter. Tyril Royer’s wife had escaped the blaze but  believed his daughter was inside. Setting aside any concerns he may have had for his own safety he entered the burning building and made his way upstairs to the […]

Stepdad wants to visit the kids after he and kid’s mom split up

Stepdad wants to visit the kids after he and kid’s mom split up

Stepdads are at risk. I was engaged to a single mother and she recently left me. She has two great kids and they went with her of course. We’ve been together awhile and I really consider them my kids. I’ve tried to get in touch so I can spend some time with the kids but she won’t respond to me. […]

Dating a single mom with a pre-teen

Dating a single mom with a pre-teen

 I’ve been dating to a lady who is a single mom and it’s starting to get serious. I don’t have any kids but she has a daughter who is 12 She’s a good kid and is well behaved but when I think about the idea of marrying a single mom it makes me think of a lady with a baby […]

Biological Father Problems

Biological Father Problems

My wife and I have been married for about a year and her ex is a huge pain to deal with. My step kids –a boy and a girl- are both less than seven. This guy pays almost nothing for child support and makes every visit miserable for my wife (and me).  He seems to be a major control freak. […]

What’s my role as a Stepdad?

What’s my role as a Stepdad?

Is there a general kind of standard that tells us what a stepdad’s role should be in raising the kids? I want to help her and support her as a mom but without annoying her in the process. What can I do if the kids behave badly quite a bit and she lets them walk on her? We’ve been married […]

I like to date single moms. Is that normal?

I like to date single moms. Is that normal?

 I seem to date single moms all the time but not really into girls without kids.  I don’t know why but I’m just drawn to single moms. In fact I’ll bend over backwards for a single mom and completely blow off a girl who doesn’t have kids. Is it normal for a guy to be so into single moms but […]

The Definition of Family

The Definition of Family

Christmas time nineteen seventy-something:  A little house on Steinblock Ave with a dozen plus cousins, endless aunts,  an uncle or two, brothers, parents, assorted neighbors, friends and one wonderful grandmother.  This is what Christmas was to me when I was just a boy. An overwhelming amount of family meant the holiday season had arrived. Family meant blood-related or married in […]

Christmas Cookies

Christmas Cookies

Oh, the weather outside is frightful… well not really. It’s been warm and sunny, so it’s not bad by most people’s December standards. After a long couple weeks of Christmas shopping, bill paying and holiday planning I decided I owed myself a night off to relax. I rented a movie and set aside some time for myself. My youngest daughter’s […]