There are victims all around you – and, here’s the kicker, there may be one within you, or me.
Resist him. Don’t placate her. He’s out to get you. She’ll persist until she gets her way.
And, unless he or she is willing to grow, any expectation to grow up, become stronger, to cast aside the victim mode, will be met with resistance.
Don’t give in, placate, or soften your serve – be kind, but treat people as strong and capable.
Perversely, there are rewards to being a victim.
Easily offended, rapidly bruised, ever on the lookout for any who may infringe their fragile sense of self, be it for gender, race, sexual orientation, language, or size, they crave attention, and demand coddling and social waivers.
The backlash, if you expect someone who trades upon his or her victim status to grow up, is inevitable.
It’ll be tooth and nail. You’ll be called names – the nicest of which may be uncaring or unloving.
But, you will spark the best in people. You will foster growth and see the victim emerge from his or her victimhood and contribute to your community in helpful, creative ways, rather than suck the life out of everything, as victims are often prone to do – even if he or she is living within you, or me.
Rod Smith is an experienced counselor. He holds a Masters Degree (MSc) in Family Therapy from Butler University and a Higher Diploma in Education (HDE) in School Counseling and English. Rod held a daily column in South African papers for nearly a decade. His website continues to serve the public, providing articles on topics of parenting, relationships and communication. You can read more of his work at the link below.